SB came back up to Scotland on 3rd May for the court case, in which he eventually plead guilty to assault on 10th Dec 2010. He was pleading not guilty and had a court order keeping him from getting in contact with me because social services wanted to protect my children from his violence. I waited to be called from the witness room to give evidence on the happenings of 10th of December.

The prosecutor pulled me aside wanting to confirm I was still willing to give evidence and that I hadn’t forgotten anything. I said I was sure I wanted to go ahead with it.

He choked me, threw me around the room and thumped me so hard on the back of my neck I nearly passed out.

So I sat back down with my cross stitch and my new man, who is my rock; and waited to be called again. Just before lunch, I was told by a court official (with a really bad stammer poor thing) that he’d changed he plea from not guilty, to guilty and that I was free to go. It took the poor wee dab ages to say this to me, but when the receptionist asked him a question, he replied fluidly! Am I that intimidating? lol

A few people I have spoken to have told me that SB had told them what had happened without remorse. Why didn’t I listen to other people’s advice from years ago? He turned into a violent, controlling, paranoid, angry person, who blamed everything on either me, my kids, or his aspergers. It was never because he couldn’t handle situations.

“Firstly, you are not going mad and you are not being unreasonable. Quite the contrary! You are a kind, loving, intelligent and very forgiving woman to have lived with him for so long!
SB is the one who has a problem with the majority of the community. His brain is differently wired and there is nothing that you can do about this. You can try your best to be flexible and work around his “foibles” but ultimately, you will be the one who has to run everything, support him AND pay all the bills etc. for the rest of the duration of the relationship.“

Another mutual friend said:

“If he is stressed out then that is his issue that he has to deal with as he is the only one who can make that change. Having no money does suck though but is no excuse to take it out on the person you are supposed to care for. I know it is none of my business but he sounds like a dick with no real focus on the important things in life and has to get off his ass to change.“

Unfortunately, I will always have feelings of dislike for him. Any feelings of love I did have for him died recently. I know when he tells people about me and our time together that he exaggerates and stretches the truth. If he didn’t like me at the start then why did he propose to me? I think what still annoys me the most is the fact that he would tell me one thing and other people another, making me out to be a liar and I hate that. I know I should just ignore the pettiness but it makes me look bad.

I’m just glad he got arrested when he did. He also broke his bail conditions in contacting me and unfortunately I no longer have the phone with those texts on. He would have been charged straight away if the court found out about that one. Still, I know the real reason he plead guilty in the end, because if I had got up there and given a character reference, he knows I would have told the truth and my words of conviction would be his death sentence.

Yes, I am still very bitter, but I am working at it.

SB gets what SB wants, no matter who suffers. I remember him and the yew berry episode. Oh dear gods. And poor Gypsy had to watch the whole thing. I think Gypsy’s one of the few people who saw him for what he truly was. His empty suicide bids… *sigh* – we all know he hasn’t got the balls to do it. He loves himself too much and his ego would never allow it.

He may protest that he’s not afraid of death and that he’s this strong mysterious Druid type, but he’s not. I mean really. Running off to the bedroom to lay on the bed curled up in a pout because of something someone said or did on an online multiplayer game is something a 12 yr old would do.

Anyway, the fact of the matter is that it is over. My mum actually told me that he seemed violent years ago. I laughed at her and told her not to be silly. Boy, was I wrong.

Oh and the £120 fine he received was for court costs only. That was not justice.