I decided to ask myself some questions….

When was the last time he held me, just because he could?
When was the last time he kissed me, other than saying goodbye in the mornings as he leaves for work?
When was the last time he embraced me as I wept?
When was the last time he told me that he loved me, while gazing into his eyes?
Why doesn’t he console me when I’m upset?
Why does he feel the need to call me the most awful names, no matter who hears?
Why whenever I try NOT to look like a slob, do I get asked “where have you been?” or “where are you off to?” instead of “you look nice today”..?

Truthfully, I can’t accept that he loves me anymore. He would be as nice to me as I am to him. I do try not to snap, but I’m not always successful. but I put in so much effort, he does not see it.

I’m just admitting to myself that the past 3 years with my boyfriend has been a farce. I’m not his mother, I’m supposed to be the person he cares about. but I’ve seen none of it lately. It’s always “if you don’t do this, we’re finished, or “if you don’t get a full-time job your kids will get taken away from you” and I’m sick of it I really am.

I am not a possession – Every guy I’ve been with wanted to possess me. I am hurt, mistrusting, suspicious of his mistrust in me – we all make mistakes but we need to physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually reassure each other. Just by kindness, fleeting glances and coy smiles even though you’ve been together for years.

This issue must be resolved NOW. I must have closure or I will go insane.

“…shouldn’t air this on the internet”
I really couldn’t give a shit – there will be no talking when He comes home.

I WILL NOT CHANGE WHO I AM FOR ANY BASTARD!

Thank you for your time.